So, we all breathed a collective sigh of relief after taking my ex (my baby mama) back to court on Monday morning to raise the amount of child support Logan gets.
It's funny how people act in court. Some people get really nervous. I always see it as way to say interesting things in front of people I don't know but have a great deal of power over things. I always tell the truth obviously -but interesting things nonetheless. I’ve found that the truth is generally not something people want to hear though. Makes 'em feel or something.
The thing about child support is that it always seems to turn into this odd battle between ex's. Over visitation, custody, instead of just paying the piper as it were. I always paid my child support whether it was hard or not. That's my responsibility. It wasn't always fair but if you look at it like a way to help your child it's not so bad. Generally because the marriage didn’t work out, somebody is still mad, hurt, whatever.
I've never gone after the child support before because of the situation with Logan. My thought was that if he had a chance to get to know his mother -I didn't want any backbiting money issues there to interfere with it. Well that and I didn’t realize how hosed Logan was getting and how much she had. It’s kind of the first time I ever stood up to her.
So at any rate, Logan got to know her and it turned out that her abandoning him at 5 was probably the best thing that could have happened for him. Which again, odd way for things to turn out? Most mothers have some sort of internal device for nurture and child rearing. Hers seems to be missing or at least sorely lacking.
Anyway, in an effort to make things at least a little better for Logan we went back to court to raise his paltry child support. Through the course of the proceedings the ex's mother got really pissed off at me. I don't even know why? I've spent more time with her over the years than the ex has. (Don’t even get me started on the hillbilly circumstances that is my first marriage…) Apparently doing right by her grandson isn't a huge priority for her. But whatever -after the last few years I’m getting used to this from ex(s).
Again though I marvel at the way some people take their own anger/judgment/rage and turn it into something about the children. It sucks but I guess that's just how it all washes out. The truth will come out. It always does.
Oh! And we aren't homeless anymore. That's always nice -a roof I mean. Keeps out the wolves and whatnot. Plus, I'm even learning all about St. Paul for the first time ever. Interesting town.
The past month has really schooled me on who my friends are, who my family is and how lucky I am to know the people I know. It also seems to have revealed all the two faced liars in my life. Arguably, I could certainly be bitter and resentful but really -what’s the point?
Family doesn’t change and true friends are happy to see you, happy to help, happy to listen to you, and seek your advice as well. Life, as they say, is a pretty sweet fruit.
Probably not for the ex’s but then that’s only just beginning much more serious things to come (also legal) . I guess using the old iNTj for good is working out instead of ostracizing us for once.
Got a nutty email from Mary's ex yesterday. Apparently he thinks I write him letters? Or maybe he's referring to the pooz? Probably, I don't know? He's not very techno literate so that would make sense. Maybe lot's of people think I'm writing them "letters" as opposed to bloggin'?
At any rate he thought I was threatening him in some way. Mind bullets maybe? Our abject homelessness? The fact that I don't fear God the way he does (–‘course I haven’t done anything to make God mad at me)? Who knows why? I don't feel very threatening...? Pretty maybe, but not threatening. He also seemed to think that Mary is a liar (what exactly she lies about -I'm not too clear on). I wrote him back -but then he didn't answer. Typical. I felt bad. He really had a shot at building something beautiful with his daughters and chose instead to beat them down. To the point that they don’t care if they ever see him again. He blames Mary of course.
Between him, his current wife, then of course Jean and David, Mary gets blamed more often, for more shit then just about anybody else I know? I wish people would just learn to take responsibility for their own damn lives and quit trying to blame it on someone else. But that’s asking a lot, I know. I've decided that Mary has to start carrying a bag of stones with her everywhere we go ‘cuz sooner or later she'll get blamed for something...
The really funny thing is that most people like us a lot. Like, just think we’re fun or something? Then other people really seem to hate us (or is it fear us? jealousy?). Okay, nine times out of ten it’s an ex-spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend but still, I’m just saying it can’t all be jealousy right?
People always underestimate us too. It must be our sunny dispositions. Also crazy people really focus in on us (for years and years sometimes). Maybe I'm supposed to do more for the crazy people? I’ve had three people in the last month tell me they think I may be a prophet? Two of them even had degrees in theology.
I hope for everybody’s sake that doesn’t turn out to be true. I’m sure the last thing God wants is for me to start telling people what the truth is…
I'm such a geek...
I'm looking online this morning and I see that Peter Mayhew is listed in the credits for Star Wars next summer. I got this feeling like I should go and tell everybody in the office. Then I remember that a) probably nobody knows who Peter Mayhew is and b) that's not a good way to ingratiate myself on office people. They are stoic and that's how they likes it!
I guess for a moment I felt like I was 12 again. Without all the sexual frustration though.
I'm really looking forward to seeing the old movies on DVD. I'd like to think that maybe the girls will finally sit down and watch the original films with me but that's more or less a fantasy world I'm living in there. Logan would.
I bet I can get Jerry to watch them sumbitches with me though...
It was Logan's eighteenth birthday this weekend. I wasn't there. It really kind of depressed me but there is not a lot I could do about it. He seems good. Better than he has in a long time actually. We all grow up right? Mary Belle and Michael went up to surprise him.
When Logan was one and half years old he told me that he knew John Lennon quite well and that God was love. Now he tells me things like it's immature to put smiley faces in email :^( I love him either way;^)
I read The Da Vinci Code this weekend. I found it a rather simple mystery and an even simpler writing style but the concepts behind it were heady. Ideas like; Jesus wasn't divine but a human prophet, He was married to Mary Magdalene, that He fathered children whose bloodline continues on today. That kind of thing.
I've spent the last three+ years reading anything I could find on early Christianity. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if Constantine's bible were a bit off the mark. In fact I'm positive that it is. The idea that we as humans could possibly understand God or the concept of that kind of intelligence seems at best, remote.
It never seems to stop people though. I've had many a conversation with fundamentalists that swear that God would never let His word be misconstrued. I’ve always had the impression that the Bible seems to be missing a good through line. Like there are pieces missing. That and third act really falls apart. Well in truth there are pieces missing but you have to be a heretic to believe that. Avert your eyes and you may yet be saved!
I truly believe that Jesus lived, that he amazed people and that once He died -the carpet baggers showed up and ruined a really gentle plan by promoting their own ideas. But that’s just how it goes sometimes. Well it’s still going that way. Just ask Islam.
I do know that I’ve never feared God. I’ve only felt love, strength and guidance. I’ve met people that said they were men of God, which professed to have been saved. In general they seem to be people that have done things so horrible to themselves or others that blind devotion to an ancient Roman emperor seems like their only way out. I suppose if that was the case you would have no alternative but fear God.
Another option might be to take a little responsibility for yourself and your actions -but no, change is difficult and requires effort, most people want to be lead and told what to do and how to think. Maybe Jesus was just asking too much of us?
Okay we're back in MN now. MN has always been the bastion of Democrats as long as I can remember. Yet they are saying it's a swing state? What the heck happened while I was gone?
I was talking to an old friend last night (she gave me a ride home because Mary was auditioning and got a callback for the lead today) about this very thing. My friend is a Democrat. Most of the people I know are Democrats in point of fact.
Obviously God likes Kerry and is still really pissed off about the last election as evidenced by the hurricanes pounding the crap out of Florida. God's never been shy about things like pissing God off and the inevitable consequences of doing that. So don't be pissin’ God off is the message there. Believe it heathens.
Look, I'm all about the individuals right to choose -but why in the hell would anybody vote for George W. Bush? Have they been asleep the last four years? Bush is a draft dodging, lying, fake Christian. Why would you want that kind of person in charge of anything other than middle management of a Burger King?
We are experiencing the worst economic slump in 75 years. We're at war with a country that hates us more than Viet Nam ever did. The main argument of the Republican party against John Kerry is that he “flip-flops”. What the hell? I’ve heard far more convincing arguments from my nine year old on the playground. Not to mention the fact that the Republicans are taking most of that out of context anyway.
Everybody that I've asked why they like George Bush say things like this; "Well, he supports not having abortions." Okay but once the fetus has been born he doesn't seem to have any problem waiting 18 years and sending them over to Iraq to die? He's done that over a thousand times now. Also I've never understood how you could be pro-life and and pro-death penalty? Or is that just me that's confused?
One guy told me he’s voting for Bush because “he’s from California and that’s where Ronald Reagan was from”? What the hell does that even mean?
The Pastor at the church I used to go (before they decided Mary was a harlotic <---made up word, I hope it catches on all you harlots/heretics ;^) said that if Kerry got elected he might put Ted Kennedy in the administration. Again, so what? What's wrong with Ted Kennedy? I mean he drinks a lot and is related to quite a few rapists but the people of Massachusetts seem to keep electing him. As far as I know he hasn't drowned anybody in long, long, time.
The conclusion I've come to is that the people voting for Bush are either a) really, really, stupid and uninformed, b) really scared of terrorists, Satan, Muslims, (look I’m not unerringly sure what they are scared of), or c) they work for Halliburton.
I don’t know, maybe on the drive back to MN I slipped into the Twilight Zone or something?
So I'm putting that out there. A vote for Bush is a vote for stupidity. So go ahead and vote that way, stupid.
I'm moving the pooz (that's my nick name for empusa.com in case you'r wonderin') to a new server so if it's not here sometimes -it means I'm an ass and that I know very little about how 'puter's work.
We've been back for a little over a week now. This Labor Day weekend was pretty fun. Well, it started out poorly. I called my "step-mom" who promptly hung up on me. Apparently my dispute with my ex wife isn't sitting too well with her. I liked the maturity though. It was cute. It's okay though; I've been estranged from bio-dad before. Although I'm reasonably sure I've put everything into that relationship I'm willing too at this point.
Mary and the girls went up to Little Falls with me. It was such a mellow time. My brother and Logan as well as I spent many a summer up there. We went to see my grandmother. She's 96 and suffering from dementia (not the angry scary kind) and she recognized me immediately. That was very cool. She kept asking me how old I was? I told her "almost 40" to which she would reply "well how old am I"? We'd tell her "96 grandma" then she would get this very shy almost coy look on her face and giggle a little bit. It's all about being in the moment with her.
On Monday we came back up to Minneapolis and Amy and Jeremy took us all to Valley Fair. Mary and I would get on the rollercoaster’s and she would just freak out while in line, strapping herself in, praying that this wouldn't be the time it broke. Then after screaming bloody murder during the entire ride she would want to get back on.
We also saw and amazing magic show by Ed Alonzo of Saved by the Bell fame.
Hey look! -my mom's online -who knew? They even spelled her name right.
Update: well that links broken. Hope you didn't miss it.