Have you ever had something you thought was so close not happen? I have. I'm experiencing that right now. I'm all about progress and change lately. I've been laid off; I'm applying for unemployment. I'm having a great deal of personal turmoil and I can't seem to shake my nagging doubts about myself and who I've become.
I just want run away. Maybe I should go to the ocean for a while? Or maybe I just need to revaluate where my life is going. Or isn't going.
I used to be a fairly decent guy, a good father, and good husband. Now I'm just kind of lost and alone. I've been trying to implement all these changes in my life and the universe just keeps on throwing curve balls at me.
Is that normal? Probably. I suppose the way one deals with curves is what is important. Well I'm not dealing very well with any of it lately. I've no one to blame but myself. I'm feeling like my ability to cope with pain is being outweighed by my dwindling resources.
The thing is; I thought I was on a good track finally. I'm learning and growing. I..m looking at behaviors that need changing yet it..s not enough. It..s never enough.
I suppose this will pass. Life is always going up and down on me. On everyone I suppose. Loss is inevitable. Oh well, tomorrow is another day
Posted by shawn at October 9, 2006 01:18 PM