A year ago yesterday, the FamDamily and I moved from California. Well, it wasn’t so much a move as it was an exodus. We had to cross the desert to do it, but I’m hoping it doesn’t take 40 years to find the land of milk and honey.
But in a way, I guess I have already found it. I mean hey, there is quite a lot of both milk and honey here in Minnesota.
I remember when we left how angry I was. I felt like I was chased out of paradise. I felt like a bad mother for having to move the kids again. I remember how horrible it was to have to leave two of my children behind.
But we had little choice but to make the journey to the Midwest. After losing our jobs, we had no money and certainly no resources to help us. Not my ex-husband, who could have taken us in, or at least paid his child support. Not the church, whose many wealthy members wouldn’t even come to our garage sale after a tearful plea from my husband for help.
I know that I am still bitter about it. That is clear in this writing. But more than anything, I am sad for my little girls, whose bio-Dad gave up on them. I am so thankful that Shawn came into my life, and to theirs. He is a great father to them. He heals their pain a little more with every hug.
A year later, I am happy to be living here, and glad for the move. My life is opening up in ways it couldn’t in California. I am getting quite connected in the theater world, and am finally chasing my own dreams. The girls seem happy. It was tough on them for a while, but they are doing better now. If only Shawn could find work that didn’t make him feel like a whore…But at least he’s willing to do it.